Alicia kim's blog

I walked through the dark streets, street lights flickering every so often. I had no thoughts, except the mixed up and weird feeling I’d been having lately. The grasshoppers were crying and bugs buzzing near the lights. The chilly autumn wind blew with the sound of a quiet river flowing and the leaves were slowly falling to the ground, as if telling me that I was falling down deep into a never-ending hole. 

I walked slowly through those dark, empty streets with the flickering lights. I had no idea where I was heading, nor where my destination was. I solemnly walked along.

My thoughts were roaming like a crazy horse. I was thinking about academics, my upcoming tests and projects, especially about beauty standards. Meanwhile, another part of me was pondering about drama at school, and what would have been different if there wasn’t any. I started overthinking my relationships with my classmates and thought of people who might not like me or might even hate me. With these thoughts in my head, I felt tired, but nothing more, nothing less. 

I wandered around the neighborhood like a homeless person, looking like I had nowhere to go. I passed shops with the sounds of heavenly hymns, the scents of refreshing flowers, the smells of tasty and savory snacks, and more. I paid almost no attention to the shops and stores along the street then, but now I vividly remember them. One of them was a piano academy for students. There was a student inside, playing a piano with a music sheet that looked like ‘Canon.’ As I passed the academy, I saw a florist shop. I feel and smell its scents still lingering in my nose. It was a heavenly place, where all of the wonders of nature are. 

Another store I passed was a street truck. It was selling traditional snacks, such as steamed corn and fish-shaped bread filled with red bean paste. The last store I remember passing by was a shut-down hospital for adolescents. It had shut down because of the lack of customers and profit. 

I had many memories of that hospital. I’d been going to that hospital ever since I moved to the neighborhood. I knew the doctor well. Ever since the hospital had shut down, my parents and I hadn’t been going to any hospital, even though we’d gotten sick. It felt like we’d lost another friend. My parents and I still kept in contact with him. He’d moved to another part of our country to establish another hospital there. 

I kept on walking quietly until I was back at the beginning of my route. I slowly walked in the direction of my home. It was past 11 p.m. I had many calls from my mom and dad. I ignored the calls and walked through the dark streets with no lights on. The only bright thing in sight was the moon, providing light to the streets. I walked through the pitch blackness, following the moon’s guiding light. I had fewer thoughts in my head than I’d had before. 

Suddenly, a notification popped up. It was my friend.

I quickly ignored it and put on my earphones. I opened up the music app and opened the OST playlist. It was one of my favorite playlists, because all of the OSTs were very calm, and usually sad. I picked the calmest song in the playlist and started listening to it. 

I closed my eyes, then opened them and looked at the sky. I wondered how it would be to be a star, to not think about all of these problems and just peacefully be there when needed. With those thoughts, I arrived at my house and I stopped in front of the door. I crouched down in front of it with a sigh. I knew I needed to go inside, but I was too tired for that. Instead, I closed my eyes and fell asleep. 

I am so extroverted and easy going outside. I might be so energetic outside, but everyone doesn’t know what I really feel like. Despite being tired, I go along with where life takes me and go through troubles and struggles in different aspects. You don’t know about a person deeply unless you’re God.